PHAMTC

Long time no see

2010-04-07T15:46:00.000-07:00

Wow reading back brings some good memories.. I forgot how I was feeling about everything before. I'll include a full update soon, but right now I'm just too lazy to think back to everything that's happened since my last post. Soooo~ what's on my mind currently? Of course, the all important issue of weightloss! Also, school/track/Richard.

Weightloss:
PROM is coming up soon and I'm using that as my motivator to finally lose the weight I've always wanted to. I know I look fine the way I am, I know I have the potential to be gorgeous (cause you know, every girl does!) but I just feel like I'd feel so much better about myself if I shed some pounds and toned up. I'm in track right now, so that's helping.. but keeping my diet is still hard as ever. It also helps that a lot of the girls in track have amazinnnng bodies that they flaunt in their sports bras. Grrr.. just you wait. I be showin dem girlies up soon ya hurrrr?

School:
is killer. period. when did i go wrong? =\

Track:
I'm kinda enjoying track right now. I'm attempting to change the way I view it.. not something that I HAVE to slave for. Just something that is there, a duty.. something that I need to utilize to better myself.

Richard:
I have so much to say about this.. this deserves it's own post haha.

TILL NEXT TIME GUYS!

2009-12-09T12:41:00.000-08:00

So charity ball was this past weekend! and I'm happy to say that I had just as much fun as I hoped I would. I was so so super excited for it that I kinda thought I might be disappointed.. but I wasn't in the least. I actually started getting ready hours and hours before.. you should have seen me when I got Richard's text that he was on his way. My heart started beating really fast, I started getting a little bit hot.. oh my gosh, it was intense. And when he got here? My mom went to the door to meet him and on the way to the car he put his arm around me cause it was cold. Later my mom tells me that she saw and was thinking "OMG WHAT IS HE DOING TO MY DAUGHTER?!" LOL. He legit knows how to swing dance, which I thought was pretty impressive. Though, sad thing was that I was absolutely horrible at it. He was nice to me and said that I wasn't bad.. but I knew he was just saying that :) Oh yeah, and there was no point in getting all prettied up, all that time with my makeup and hair and it all just ended up getting messed up! Halfway through the ball Richard surprises me by asking me out. You guys know.. I had been waiting for that for how long now? It was nice to know FINALLY that he liked me too. Of course I said yes <3

And yeah, honestly.. I've told this story 3 times already so I'm gonna stop.

I respect that he's taking the lead in the relationship.. it takes guts to ask a girl out I'm sure. I don't want him to think that it's one-sided. But I'm not really sure the boundary line between appropriate and not? I don't want to step on his toes yano.. and I want to be that kind of girl that does cute things for their guy. I'm trying to get ideas for good dates and other little things, any ideas?

However, as long as I have been crushing on him.. I'm kinda feeling like calling each other "girlfriend" and "boyfriend" is fast for me. I'm not really there yet? I hope he knows that..

I'm content~

How exciting!

2009-11-25T17:05:00.000-08:00

Thank god it's break. I have to admit, I didn't do anything to deserve this.. but that does not mean I'm not going to take it for all it's worth. One week of lazy days here I come!

Unfortunately, my sister doesn't get to come visit us this year.. nor do I get to visit Texas.. but me and my parents are taking a short trip to D.C. at the very least! That should be fun.. take advantage of all the free museums and art galleries and stuff haha.

ALSO, CHARITY BALL next saturday! YAY I'm so excited! I've picked out my dress and everything.. I just need to get shoes and figure out how I'm going to do my hair.

MAN I'm so psyched!

<3 <3 <3

2009-11-19T13:34:00.000-08:00

Richard asked me to Charity Ball :)

2009-11-11T17:58:00.001-08:00

"You used to be special
now you're just like every other teenager."

The truth hurts..

Are you ready?

2009-11-11T07:33:00.000-08:00

MANHUNT

I'm going to MAN UP

2009-11-09T18:09:00.000-08:00

SINCE YOU WON'T! Apparently, it's really attractive for a girl to take the initiative when it comes to pursuing a boy that they have an interest in.

I'm in a situation when I'm interested in getting to know this guy in my english class. I've heard once or twice that he likes me, but I'm finding it quite difficult to pick up any signs of that! We see each other in the halls and he never says hi to me, I'm always initiating! So it makes me feel like maybe he doesn't like me? Or maybe he's intimidated because he doesn't know if I like him back? I dunno! I know this all sounds so trivial, but at this point I just don't care!

I think he's one of those "shy guys," at least, when it comes to girls.

In that case, if I want to know what might happen.. I have to MAKE it happen. I'll man up and make the first move.

PLAN:
1. begin saying hello regularly (I see him every other day, sometimes more in passing in the hallaways)
2. build up to talking daily, then talking out of school on weekends/breaks/etc.
3. see what happens for there..

Maybe I won't like him? Who knows..

2009-11-05T14:41:00.000-08:00

If you're looking for a sign,

this is it.

FOR YOU, AND ME..

JUST YOU WAIT!

The Old and the New

2009-10-31T15:34:00.000-07:00

I'd like to take the time to write some super eloquent entry in celebration for such an epic weekend as this, but alas, my laziness got the better of me.

My birthday is coming up soon.. Monday to be exact. I'm half hoping that I'm going to wake up and feel as if I've gained a guru-sized amount of knowledge.. but then again, it doesn't take a guru to know that I'm simply kidding myself. Haha.

A year. It's long, but it's short. It's packed full of messy and unintentionally learned life lessons. I'd like to think that I've grown a lot since I turned 15.. wow. Almost exactly 1 year ago I had my first kiss! To think that it's already been a year is mind blowing.

Now time for my signature mindless list of clutter:
1. I miss Audrey. I miss Audrey a lot :( I hope I get to see her soon..
2. I want my parents to be happy..
3. I wish I were more special
4. I'm going to be healthier
5. I'm going to make myself happy first and foremost

Random #1

2009-10-25T20:58:00.000-07:00

Chloe Pham is: relearning discipline and the principle of genuine effort and hard work.

HI-YA! WATTAAAA~!

Happy Birthday!

2009-10-25T17:59:00.000-07:00

My parents threw me a surprise birthday party this weekend!
I don't really know what to say.. I was so surprised. It was so thoughtful of them to do that.. they didn't have to at all. And it was so nice that all the girls came. Well, most of them did.

I saw the pictures! and I hate to sound like a broken record.. but DANG I seriously have got to lose weight!

Someone I knew stated that he was deteriorating to a glob.
A glob consisting of laziness, lethargy, and fat.
I sympathize..

It's hard to remember how young you are.. and how you need to treat your body well since it's the only one you'll ever get! Cliche but very very true.

Hit the gym running!

Things that make me happy

2009-10-24T18:33:00.000-07:00

1. Family and Thanksgivings!
2. Seattle and Vancouver
3. Sweating
4. Sleeping
5. Pushing the limits
6. The internet
7. Baby animals
8. Something warm in the morning
9. Being sentimental--in the good feeling way
10. Being right
11. Smiling and laughing
12. Sunny days and breezy winds
13. Floating the boat
14. Breaking the rules!
15. Making lists and planning
16. The good ole days..
17. Old pictures
18. Girly things
19. Boyish things
20. Colors
21. Inspiration!
22. Celebrating the success of friends

Eureka!

2009-10-22T14:54:00.001-07:00

I've figured it out! My level of happiness strongly correlates with how well I'm doing in school.

The story of my life sigh.

What did I get myself into..

2009-10-18T13:45:00.000-07:00

I should be writing my muscle contraction rap (HAHA) which I volunteered for.. for some stupid reason. How am I supposed turn the Prince of Bel-Air theme song into a song about the process of contraction! I'm so musically impaired.. crap this is going to take hours! And even after my sweat and tears put into the song.. I bet you anything that it's still going to suck.

So yeah, not only that but I also have a quiz in Algebra tomorrow. This is a make it or break it situation.. a good grade on this quiz could bring me from a B to an A. So yeah.. I should be studying for that too =\ Agh!

Also.. I have a test over Huck Funn on Thursday.. I haven't even started reading yet!

It's going to be a long night..

But in better news, I finally got my outfit for debate~

Don't I look so smart? ;)

Makes my heart melt..

2009-10-16T15:51:00.000-07:00

Lee Joon
you, your sexiness and your smile
are like rainbows and freaking sunshine <3

A step in the right direction

2009-10-13T14:44:00.000-07:00

I'm starting my clean eating
and I'm starting to go to the gym now!
I'm determinedddd!

HELLZ YEAHS

http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/female_transformation_rany.htm

>___<

2009-10-09T21:24:00.001-07:00

Oh the many ups and downs of life..
it's funny how life is just so good one day,
and the next you feel like crap.

How I dislike school..
so stressful!

Picture SPAM

2009-10-03T17:00:00.001-07:00

Me wearing my FYSH hat! You can't see the logo on the front though.. but take my word for it--it's toally ballin. I got it at a fashion show in downtown Raleigh. The people selling it are actually Asian-American college students attending UNC.. naturally I had to buy it. Pride yo! See more here: FYSHclothing.com

Me and my madre <3

Me and my mom yet again. This time in downtown Raleigh visiting the museum of natural history.

Me, at the museum of natural history. It was so so nice outside that day!

Tennis! Look how messed up my face is. Hahahahah! This is only slightly embarrassing.. but seeing as to how a very very small percentage of whoever sees this actually knows me in real life, I've the courage the put it up. No laughing! I know.. it would not hurt at all to lose a couple of pounds.

LIFE IS SO GOOD

2009-09-29T18:57:00.000-07:00

good grades
good food
good weather
good parents
good sister
good friends
good place to stay

..you know what, good doesn't even cut it. my life is GREAT. it is AMAZING. it's like a freaking RAINBOW.

I am so so fortunate in life.. not just now, but every day of my whole life has been so fortunate.

BY GOLLY I feel like this is what it's like to be high. Not like I'd know..
no seriously.

<3 all around!

0h My

2009-09-18T22:50:00.000-07:00

Things sure change rather quickly huh?
Just last year around this this homecoming time..
*cough cough*
Those were the good ol' days~

What has this turned into..?

2009-09-15T21:05:00.000-07:00

It's 12:00 and I'm about to go to sleep.
I think this is the earliest it's been since school started.
I feel so intense!

Maybe just possibly temporary?

2009-09-13T09:48:00.000-07:00

*THIS POST IS RANDOM AND UNORGANIZED LIKE HECK

1. I've been obsessed with singing this song as of recent. Thought it would be good for me to post it where people may actually watch it.. though, be snappy about it! I don't know how long my inhibitions will allow it to stay up.

Chris Brown-Say Goodbye

2. In other news, my momma is coming up to NC today! Yay I've missed her so much :) And with the coming of Me Oi comes new clothes, no more long waits for rides, a clean condo, and of course.. lovely lovely company. I'm so glad~ I only wish Audrey could be here as well.

3. So so so cute! But terrible at the same time..

4. It would be the coolest thing to have a super radical, boys style haircut. Hmm.. I'm contemplating.

"Quit being such a goddamn pussy"

2009-09-12T14:56:00.001-07:00

I hate the people who make me want to be a better person,
Ugh, they make me so jealous.

Oh yeah, and I modified my layout. Yay for radical colors!

Hm

2009-09-03T18:03:00.000-07:00

Things have smoothed out here in NC
Tennis is fine, school is fine, the people are fine..
Mama's coming next weekend! w00t~

I've been eating a lot
Hmm, I should probably stop that
I feel heavy.

We're all guilty

2009-08-31T12:48:00.000-07:00

You push it back, day after day goes without a word.
The chances come and go, and you always tell yourself
Next time, next time I'll do it.

The next time comes and still
nothing happens.

What would they think about me?

I feel like the majority of people are guilty of thinking way too much about what other people think about them. It's common for you to feel insecure about yourself and to feel vulnerable. I'm not trying to sound condescending.. I'm probably the person least qualified to talk about this. But still, I think what I SHOULD do despite the fact I don't do it.

You shouldn't care about what people say about you. Sure, reputation matters and such but in the end, words are only words. What they say about doesn't matter unless it's true. What they think about you doesn't matter unless it's true.

Plus, you never know what may happen.

I'm talking about a specific instance, so again
if none of this makes sense, it's okay.
Haha it's not supposed to.

Toodles~

Just Be

2009-08-22T21:31:00.001-07:00

You were who you were,
you did what you did.
You'll whine, you'll sob, you'll scream
and you'll blame your faults on other people.
But at the end of the day,
words of complaint won't change anything,
the past is still there,
unchanged with the passage of time.
At the end of the day,
though your past may be marred,
you still have now to live,
you still have now to enjoy.
The sun will always rise again.
You still have the power of now
to change the future.
The past is gone and can only be learned from,
the future doesn't exist and can only be prepared for,
the only time you ever have is now.

Imagine you lived in the prehistoric era, imagine you walked the earth alongside the great dinosaurs.

Imagine if you asked them, "What time is it?" Assuming that they could speak, what would they say?

"What time is it? The time is now. What other time could it be?"

*Thanks Mommy, I know.. but I don't think I understand.

Bittersweet

2009-08-20T20:44:00.000-07:00

Myrtle beach, yah man!
School starts on Tuesday..
oh where did the time go?

7 more days!

2009-08-17T10:26:00.001-07:00

So I have this thing for making lists right (reference "For self-entertainment), here's another one for you guys. Just some things that I'm thinking about.. so don't expect it to make sense. The things that pop out of my mind rarely do =\

1. I need to start running again, I want to live healthier
2. The Melting Pot..
3. I need more feel good music, does anyone have any suggestions?
4. Exactly 1 more week until school starts. As close as it is, I have yet to feel any kinda of nervous anticipation. Is that.. alright?
5. I still have to start my summer assignments.. oops.
6. I need to start SAT studying.. like I said I would weeks and weeks ago. Man!

BOY
I LOVE YOUR STYLE
I LOVE YOUR SMILE
I WISH THAT YOU COULD BE
ONLY MINE

Sorry sorry sorry

2009-08-15T07:12:00.000-07:00

It's always easy to tell when my parents are upset with me. I'm not outlandishly mean to them or anything, but I definitely have my moments of brattiness. At home, I'm easily annoyed and quick to lose my patience. And those of you with asian parents (asian parents especially, but any kind of parent really) know, that sometimes communication is a little bit hard. Either you don't say something the way they understand, or they don't say something the way you understand.. it's no one's particular fault regarding HOW the miscommunication happened.

A situation came up this morning similar to this, and I lost my patience. I didn't say anything bad, but the way I said what I did was disrespectful. The moment the ordeal was over, I immediately regretted what I had done.

After, my dad didn't say anything. He didn't ignore me, but I could tell he was a little bit mad. I tried to smooth things over a bit by being nice.. making casual conversation, etc. And maybe it worked a little.. but that's not the point.

It is so so hard to apologize to parents.. or family at that matter. For me at least. With any of my friends I'd have no problem admitting I was wrong, but with my parents.. for some reason it's a different story. My dad especially is hard to say sorry to. Maybe it's because he never says sorry to anyone else.. I don't know.

I do know though, that if I had apologized to him, he's only give me a look and a little lecture about why what I did was wrong and stuff. Ugh, who wants to hear that..

Then again.. it WAS my fault. And if anyone deserves to be put through something they don't like, it should be me. And I guess I'm not certain as to how he would react to my apology.. I'm just assuming.. since that's what he did before.

Maybe it's me that should swallow up my pride and say something to me dad.

I don't know how to end this, so byebye.

Blogging, commence!

2009-08-14T14:21:00.000-07:00

Me and a giant trolley horse in downtown Wilmington. Honestly, I think she was the prettiest horse I've ever seen.

The condo is now made complete with both TV and cable internet! Though, I must say.. I think that after living without these things for a couple of weeks I've grown to enjoy my days without them. My days seem longer and I feel more productive throughout the day. It's insane how fast time flies when you're wasting time.. I learned to pay more attention to the simple things in life. Because it was those simple things, like the chirping of the birds outside my window and the feeling of accomplishment after cleaning (yes, I'm serious. and yes, I know how incredibly cheesy I sound right now), that made the day pass by a little bit faster. And as those days progressed, I no longer wanted them to end so soon.

Before, I'd spend hours and hours in front of some sort of screen. I think me realizing that there are things in life that can be more satisfying than that is one of my major accomplishments. Granted, I still enjoy watching TV and playing computer.. sometimes more than I should.. but I'm getting better.

I feel.. calmer. Like, more at peace with myself. Not as negative, not as frantic, not as stressed.

ANYWAY, this really makes no sense.. but oh well, my mind put into words rarely does.

As Steven would say, lates.

Hop me

2009-08-10T13:32:00.000-07:00

I spend a lot of my time at the library due to the fact that back at the home I have no TV or inernet access. Here, I spend much of my time facbooking/soompiing/mangaing/youtubing/etc. whilst all the high school kids around me work on their super genius summer homework.

I feel like such a slacker!

I just found out that I have summer reading to do for AP English III and I have yet to purchase the books. I have to write some essays, make some lists, answer some questions.. additionally, I have some other things to do for some other classes.

Really, it's not all that bad.. I think the work load just seems compounded in ,light of my just moving here. It's just really stressful is all =\ I know this will bite me in the butt later, but I'm kinda looking forward for the school year to start. Things will stabilize, and I think I work better in stable situations.

note to self:
-the kitchen god's wife by amy tan
-the color purple by walker
-the dollmaker by arnow
-the sun also rises by hemingway
-slaugherhouse five by vonngut
-east of eden by steinbeck

-$54 to coach taylor for uniform
-white razor back
-daddy, friday at 5pm
-off on wed. and fri.
-high school clinics at the park?

-birth certificate
-last report card
-social security card
-go after practice to coach bunn

lkufhgklsdhflsjdhfskfdghklsdf
I must say, I feel a bit overwhelmed.

http://pleasefindthis.blogspot.com/

2009-08-05T10:18:00.000-07:00

"Don't you dare tell me nothing matters. Everything matters. Every fucking drop of rain, every ray of sunlight, every wisp of cloud matters and they matter because I can see them and if I can see them then they can see me and I know that there's an entire world that cares out there, hiding behind a world that doesn't, afraid to show who it really is and with or without you, I will drag that world out of the dirt and the blood and the muck until we live in it. Until we all live in it."

Emo to the max! but oh so much fun to read.
CHECK IT.

The Adventures of Chloe: Green Hope Tennis Tryouts Edition

2009-08-05T10:08:00.001-07:00

DAY 1
Holy crap these girls are amazing. I won one match (8-4), lost the other (8-0). Man, I am in way over my head. *Goes home to cry

DAY 2
Better.. I really did try my best. But my best just isn't good enough. I lost both my matches. I'm not going to make the team, at least I don't think I'm going to make the team. ..no! That's not the way to think.. it's not over yet! I have one more day! Fighhhht!

DAY 3
LET'S DO THIS! I've improved a lot in these past few days. I think I've picked up quite a bunch from the girls here. I lost one match (7-9) to the girl I lost 8-0 to on the first day, which is better. I won my other match (6-3). I don't know.. everything is really on the fence now. =\

CONCLUSION
I'm 11 out of 10.
I'm not supposed to have made it, but the coach made an exception!
I'm going to be like a "traveling-JV."
I could not be happier.
You won't regret this! ;)

*TIME TO GET WORKING. THIS YEAR IS GOING TO BE INSANE INTENSE.

Spoiled

2009-07-31T13:08:00.000-07:00

The amazing picture quality of this photo is bound to make anyone have the urge to spend hundreds of dollars on a fancy high tech camera :( I want one for my bday/xmas.

This was taken on my dad's Canon video camera. Not the super camera I referred to earlier.. but amazing none the less. I already have a pretty nice Casio 7.2 megapixel camera..

Oh, why is it that the grass is always greener on the other side?!

True works of art

2009-07-31T10:52:00.000-07:00

Both the taste and the asthetics.. what more can you ask for?

FML

2009-07-30T09:56:00.001-07:00

I accidentally sent an e-mail that was supposed to be to my dad to the dean of students at Green Hope. I've never actually said this but..
FML

A taste of home

2009-07-30T06:15:00.000-07:00

Audrey is going to come to visit for a week this month! Yay! I already miss her :) And I'm excited that she gets to see the place before the end of the year. I'm going to ask her to bring somethings up from the house..

I have the hiccups

2009-07-29T10:07:00.000-07:00

I am officially a student at Green Hope High School,
and I could not be more nervous.

It is so hardcore here! All the classes seem very rigorous, their trophy cases are overflowing with accolades in every sport imaginable.. I think I'm in for a big challenge. Which is fine.. BRING IT ON NC! I'm gonna who you how us Texans do it ;) Wish me luck everyone!

Anyway, I still can't believe how green it is here. The trees are gorgeous, don't get me wrong. But wow.. it's so.. cliche. Like, the place where I'm living seems like it's been taken out from a scene in Desperate Housewives. And it RAINS! Woah, long time no see!

Gotta start cleaning now.. I think my dad misses having someone take care of him~

So long, Texas

2009-07-23T08:56:00.000-07:00

1. I'll miss my sister I'm leaving behind at UT
2. I'll miss my family I won't be able to see as often
3. I'll miss all the friends I've made here
4. I'll miss all the happy memories I've collected
5. I'll miss the heat, strangely..

I've lived here my whole "remembered" life and it makes me sad to know that I'm leaving behind all the Texas things that I'm come to be familiar with. My parents insist that I'll like North Carolina. Maybe I will, and maybe I won't. I really have no clue at this point. I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

1. I'm excited about the new school I will be going to
2. I'm excited about all the new people I am going to meet
3. I'm excited about the new way of life that I'm being thrown into
4. I'm excited about the chance to "start over"

I'm at a loss for words

2009-07-23T08:48:00.000-07:00

Though there are so many things going through my head that I'd like to write about, I can seem to put any of it in decent words. You won't believe how many "drafts" I have that have yet to be posted. Maybe I should settle for posting meaningless, useless things?

Alrighty,well, since I'm drawing a blank as to what to say, here's a random fact about me: I love aquariums. But I've only been to one once or twice. :(

For Self-Entertainment

2009-07-18T18:36:00.000-07:00

How come no one blogs anymore? I remember the good ol' days when everyone had a Xanga. I'm gonna bring it back yo! This is mostly going to be for my own entertainment, since I doubt that anyone is really going to read this anyway. Hahah. But hey, if anyone finds that reading about my oh-so-exciting life helps pass the time, then kudos!

Anyway, if you know me super well, then you'll know I like to make lists. They usually start popping up when I'm super stressed or have a lot on my mind. But in this case, I'm writing a list because it's just so much easier than stupid paragraph format. Hmm, this might come back to bite me in the butt later..

1. Went to San Marcos today, had to leave early cause Audrey wasn't feeling well. We passed by Buda.
2. Drag tomorrow with Mark! I'm still so full from Cheesecake Factory today.. I'm seriously questioning whether I'm going to be hungry enough to eat dinner tomorrow.
3. 10 more days until my flight. Lots to do until then. I'm going to miss you Texas! :(

"hey, c'mon let's play
a song, or two or three, or four
or five if you want more"
-pocket philosopher by mandy moore